Adultery Jokes / Recent Jokes

15. Because you deserve better than a car's backseat.
14. As seen on 'COPS'.
13. If we knew you were staying all night, we would have changed the sheets.
12. No longer just for nooners.
11. We omitted the 9, but you know it's there.
10. You rented the room, now buy the video.
9. Yes, you could stay somewhere nicer, but you wouldn't have money left over for a hooker.
8. We'll supply the Lysol for you.
7. We're not the Ritz, but try bringing your secretary there on *your* salary, pal!
6. We put the 'Ho' in 'Motel'.
5. It's Hookerriffic!
4. Official Lodging of the '98 Florida Marlins.
3. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art since 1962!
2. Easy and Cheap - Just Like Your Mom.
1. We don't make the adultery. We make the adultery *better*!

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional.
In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
The priest asks "What did you do?".
The woman says "I Committed adultery."
Priest: "How many times?"
Woman: "Three times."
Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."
A few minutes later another woman enters the confessional. She says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do?"
Woman: "I committed adultery."
Priest: "How many times?"
Woman: "Three more...

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional.In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."The priest asks "What did you do?". The woman says "I Committed adultery."Priest: "How many times?"Woman: "Three times." Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."A few minutes later another woman enters the confessional. She says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."Priest: "What did you do?"Woman: "I committed adultery."Priest: "How many times?"Woman: "Three times."Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and more...

An elderly matron, sitting at the counter of a crowded cafeteria, became upset because of the cigarette smoke of the young woman beside her.
Finally, the older woman could take it no longer.
She turned to the girl and bellowed, "Young lady, I would rather commit adultery than smoke!"
"So would I," replied the young woman, "but unfortunately, there just isn't enough time during a coffee break."

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do something about the sidewalks in town.When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, Your wife fell three times this week."

There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your wife fell three more...

An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery.
During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"

Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen."
From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen."

This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.

Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest.

But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at more...