Afraid Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?""Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

A robber and an alms-begging monk were pursuing their way together when a tiger suddenly appeared from nowhere and pounced upon them. The robber immediately drew a bow. The tiger, however, was not afraid and kept closing in on them. As a last resort, the monk threw his alms book at the tiger, which immediately fell back with fright and beat a hasty retreat. "Pa," asked the tiger cub of its father," how come you were not afraid of the robber and yet the monk gave you such a good scare?" "Well," replied the tiger, " when the robber came up, I was prepared to wrestle with him. But when the monk wanted to beg alms from me, how was I going to bundle him off?"

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he's gone.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he's gone.I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.

A woman was driving through the countryside late at night when her car
broke down. Not knowing anything about cars, she started to walk. A
mile down the road, she came to an old country farmhouse and knocked
on the door until two young men came out.
"Kin we help ya, miss?"
"Yes, my car broke down about mile back. I wonder if you could drive
me to the nearest town so I can get a tow truck?"
"Well, now, the town's all shut up right now and don't open back up
until tomorrow mornin'. But ah'll tell ya what, miss, mah brother here
an ah'll tow yer car over to the farmhouse and you kin spend the
night here with us."
The woman thought, "Well, I really don't have a choice. Besides, I
can handle myself," so she agreed.
After the two brothers towed her car back to the farmhouse, and they
were getting ready for bed, the first one said, "Yah know, miss, we
only got one bed in this here house, more...

A little old man goes to the doctor for a complete medical check-up. After the examination the doctor says, "I'm afraid there are two problems with your health - which do you want to hear first?" "Give me the worst first." "I'm afraid you've got cancer - it's pretty bad and it's spreading rapidly. There's no treatment available. I'm afraid you don't have very long to live." "So, what's the other problem?" "You've also got Alzheimer's disease." "Could be worse," the old man says, obviously relieved. "Could be cancer!"

One day in a class a teacher took a small math test. Teacher-jumbo suppose your father took a loan of rs200 in how much time will your father return the money if he has to pay rs40 a month.
Jumbo-one whole year sir.
Teacher-i'm afraid jumbo you don't know your maths.
Jumbo-i'm afraid sir you don't know my father.