Afraid Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why is Superman afraid of [ethnic] people more than Lex Luther?
Lex Luther will steal his identity. [Ethnic] people will steal his identity
and his costume.

This is a homework assignment I received from my English teacher, I just finished it what do you think?

Response should be at least one page double-spaced. Respond thoughtfully.
1. Recall a situation in which you felt controlled by fear. Explain.
From what I remember, I have never really been controlled by fear, I am fearless, real men are not controlled by anyone, or anything but I could have been afraid as a child I do not remember, and to be honest, if I was controlled by fear, I would not admit it to you, ManRib.
Actually here’s a fear, I fear you without clothes, I fear seeing your fat ass camel toe naked, I’m hiding under my pillow just thinking about it.
2. Why do/did you have this fear? What created it? (Speculate if you aren’t sure.)
Why do I have this fear, hmm well every time I see a fat chick where tight jeans, the way you do, I just get this fear, of what if I have to see them naked? Its quite disturbing in my mind, I guess you can blame more...

' There is an upgrade path from the Old to the New Testament, but it's difficult and unsupported.'

'We were only able to get the first seven Commandments on the stone tablets. The last three will be in Commandments' 98.'

'You can't get your bush to burn? Have you tried sacrifice?'

'The' virgin birth' is not a bug, it's a documented feature.'

'You'll need more RAM to run all four horseman concurrently.'

'The first semaphore is being dropped, the second is returning an olive branch.'

'I.S. says it will rain for exactly 20 days.'

'Kai's Revelations Tools produce some really cool effects but they're difficult to understand and use.'

'We killed the process, but three days later it came back.'

'The walls of Jericho won't fall without a 100% fully compatible Soundblaster Card.'

'The voice of God is a standardized protocol, but each prophet implements it differently.'

'My more...

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, its' going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20."
"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5000 will only buy a used one."
"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."
"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"
"The Government is wanting to get its hands on everything. Pretty soon it's going to be impossible to run a family business or farm."
"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."
"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 50 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."
"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing more...

The following is a true story. . .

An anonymous girl, lets call her Jen, is a junior in college attending school in Colorado, like all college students, she is wrapped up in the partying and the wildness college life has to offer. Jen being the computer science major that she is does however have a lot of work to do on her computer so when she's not out having a good time, she's working her but off desining computer programs and installing software.

One day, soon after she had broken up with her boyfriend, she was home alone on a friday night for the first time in the three years they had been dating. she was sad alone and depressed, so she decided to make a new homepage. she was playing on the net when she decided to get onto a chat line, being the wild psycho she is she decided to get onto a sex line. So Jen got onto a sex chat line and started playing around on it.

Over the line, she met a guy who identified himself as Jeremy, she started playing more...

There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night, that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die.
Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The American was afraid of needles and did’nt want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.
The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and did’nt want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn’t work and he was free.
Next it was the Newfoundlanders turn to pick how he was to be executed. He said “I’m afraid of needles, the electric chair won’t work so you’re going to have more...

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark. ”
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark, ” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you. ”
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there? ” “Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him, ” she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little.
Peering out into the darkness, he called, “Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom? ”