African Jokes / Recent Jokes
South African Loses Foot to Shark...
blames casino for not having ATM on site.
There were three men on an airplane. It was an African man, Mexican man, and a Filipino man. The African man began making conversation by tel
Two african american kids (a boy and a girl) go out trick or treating and
stop at a lady's house for candy.
Lady: Who are you two supposed to be?
Kids: Hansel and Gretel
Lady: You can't be Hansel and Gretel, they're white.
So the kids went home and changed and went back to the lady's house.
Lady: Now who are you supposed to be?
Kids: Jack and Jill.
Lady: You can't be Jack and Jill, they're white.
Then the kids went home to change again but went back to the lady's house
with nothing on this time.
Lady: What are you supposed to be this time?
Kids: Hershey bars, one with nuts and one without.
Cleaner Polishes Off Patients.
South African Health - Pelonomi Hospital
Date: 26 July 1996 10:08
"For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a dead
patient in the same bed every Friday morning" a spokeswoman for
the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters.
"There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive
checks on the air conditioning system, and a search for possible
bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues." "However,
further inquiries have now revealed the cause of these deaths.
It seems that every Friday morning a cleaner would enter the
ward, remove the plug that powered the patient's life support
system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant socket, then go
about her business. When she had finished her chores, she would
plug the life support machine back in and leave, unaware that the
patient was now dead. She could not, after all, hear more...
In March 1997, Brian Cranshaw, a chemical engineer from West London, returned to the UK after spending the previous six months overseeing work at a petrochemicals plant in Nigeria.
During his first week back, his wife complained that he seemed to have difficulty listening properly. Brian suggested that his ears had not fully recovered from the air pressure changes experienced during his flight.
Over the next two weeks, Brian's condition worsened as he started to feel tickling sensations deep in his ears. Thinking the trouble was caused by loosened ear wax, he attempted to clean his ears with a ballpoint pen.
When he pressed it into his right ear, he heard a cracking sound and saw the pen covered in a yellow goo. He went to his local GP claiming he had punctured his ear drum. The GP reached into Brian's right ear with a pair of tweezers and pulled out what appeared to be an insect antenna.
During the examination Brian was horrified to learn more...
The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeingtour with a very rich African king who was a very importantclient. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretaryis quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her,...don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way todissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry youunder three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-caratdiamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "Noproblem! I have. I have."Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "Iwant you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, Iwant a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his more...
A South African delegate visits Russia on a State visit. One evening, after dinner, the host of the party invites the South African delegate to participate in the game of Russian Roulette. Before he got a chance to answer, he was drawn into a sideroom. Here he was given a gun with only one bullet in the magazine. He was instructed to spin the magazine, point the gun at his head and shoot. Now obviously he did not wish to carry out this dangerous sport but he did so as for not to offend to Russian's "ritual" Luckily he did not get the bullet but was clearly very shaken by the experience.
Some time later the very same Russian paid a return visit to South Africa. Now the South African felt that he could get his own back so he drew the latter into a side room.
"Now it your time to play SOUTH AFRICA'S roulette. Go into this room and there you will find seven women. Any one of these will give you a Blowjob..."
"So, what's the catch?" asked the more...