Agree Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why do two Penguins in a nest always agree? A: Because they don´t wanna fall out.

It was a dark, stormy night. The marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk.

The nervous young private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute and snapped out "Sir, good evening, Sir!" The General, out for some relaxation, return the salute and said "Good evening marine, nice night isnt it?".

Well it wasnt a nice night, but the private wasnt about to disagree with the General so he saluted again and replied "Sir yes sir!"

The General continued "you know there's something about a stormy night that i find soothing, its really relaxing. Dont you agree?" The private didnt agree, but then the private was just a private, so he responded "Sir yes sir!"

The General, pointing at the dog,"This is a golden retriever, the best type of dog to train" The private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said " Sir yes more...

A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment.The (hungry) mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and his favorite meal, perfectly prepared, is placed at the other end of the room. The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every minute, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the meal."The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I`m not going to go through this. You know I`ll never reach the food!" And he gets up and storms out.The psychologist ushers the physicist in. He explains the situation, and the physicist`s eyes light up and he starts drooling.The psychologist is a bit confused. "Don`t you realize that you`ll never reach the food?"The physicist smiles and replies: "Of course! But I`ll get close enough for all practical purposes!"

A man visits his doctor. "I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my balls has turned blue." The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed. "Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me?" "Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and the patient had to agree to have his testicle removed. But two weeks after the operation, he came back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue too." Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was very reluctant. "Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc, and the patient had to agree to the operation. But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely more...

Many of us have been there. Something just doesn't click with the new boss. Or maybe we're just horribly incompetent, or miserably incapable of performing up to standard. Whatever the reason, sometimes in our lives, we've got to calculate the odds of being canned. Take this quiz and find out you chances of survival in the job world.
The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk. You...
A) swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid.
B) inform him that you're planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported to Human Resources.
C) Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you've finished the level.
There's a cush job opening in the mail department, stuffing envelopes with free samples. It pays twice as much as your current position. What do you do?
A) Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might improve the morale of more...

It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfectsalute, and snapped out, "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isnt it?"Well it wasnt a nice night, but the Private wasnt going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied, "Sir, Yes Sir!"The General continued, "You know theres something about a stormy night that I find soothing, its really relaxing. Dont you agree?"The Private didnt agree, but then the private was just a private, and responded, "Sir, Yes Sir!"The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again, and said, "Sir, Yes Sir!"The General continued "I more...

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"The others agree that sounds like a good place. Then the American says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink." Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar. Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you more...