Aint Jokes / Recent Jokes
How many Katrina rebuilders does it take to screw in a light bulb? Aint no lat bubbs and aint no lectricity neeva.
One day a priest decided to go down to the dock near his church. He saw a fisherman loading up his boat there. So the priest watched him for awhile. The fiisherman saw the priest and asked him if he wanted to go fishing with him. The priest had nothing to do so he said ok. They went out all day. They only caught one fish all day and it was the priest who caught it. The fisherman said,"That's a big sonofabitch!" The priest was like what did you say. Quickly thinking the fisherman said that is the name of the fish. Later when the priest went back to the church he showed it to the bishop and said look at this sonofabitch I caught. The bishop was like watch you mounth. The priest said no that is the name of the fish. The bishop said ok lets go clean it. They cleaned it and took it to the sister to cook it. She said where did you get the fish from. The priest said I caught the sonofabitch and the bishop cleaned the sonofabitch. The nun was stuned but she cooked it. Later that more...
"Wheres your pencil, Bud?" the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain. "I aint got one, Sir." "Youre in England. now, Bud. Not aint, havent. I havent got a pencil. You havent got a pencil. They havent got a pencil.""Gee!" said Bud. "Pop said things were tough in this country, but I didnt know pencils were so hard to come by."
See how many of these you hear this year!
Here are my FAVORITE top ten Christmas Quotations My God, Aint Sally, don't use the BUTTER KNIFE to spread that oleo on your own damn bread!
Why is it that **MY** children always has to drink out of the jelly glasses?
I'd just love for all y'all to come to **MY** place next Christmas, but I'm afraid there ain't room for all of us in that little tiny trailer.
Well, I got it at Sears. If it don't fit, I'm sure they'll be glad to swap it for you for a larger size. I just di'n't realize you waz wearing a ***24W*** already.
What the hell am I supposed to do with T*H*I*S? Didn't anybody git me any white socks?
I don't EVER put olives on MY deviled eggs. I just don't know why anybody would! Skeeter's allergic to olives, ain't you, Skeeter? Why, yes, you are so! You are, too, allergic to olives!
Who let that damn dog get into my box of chocolate-covered cherries? I was gonna drop them by WyeVonne's. Miz Marshall down more...
Jennifer: Are you coming to my party? Sandra: No, I aint. Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not aint. Its I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming. Sandra: Blimey, aint nobody coming?