Olives Jokes

O'Brien walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

"S' cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what O'Brien had done, "what was that all about?"

"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave."S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?""Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."

See how many of these you hear this year!
Here are my FAVORITE top ten Christmas Quotations My God, Aint Sally, don't use the BUTTER KNIFE to spread that oleo on your own damn bread!
Why is it that **MY** children always has to drink out of the jelly glasses?
I'd just love for all y'all to come to **MY** place next Christmas, but I'm afraid there ain't room for all of us in that little tiny trailer.
Well, I got it at Sears. If it don't fit, I'm sure they'll be glad to swap it for you for a larger size. I just di'n't realize you waz wearing a ***24W*** already.
What the hell am I supposed to do with T*H*I*S? Didn't anybody git me any white socks?
I don't EVER put olives on MY deviled eggs. I just don't know why anybody would! Skeeter's allergic to olives, ain't you, Skeeter? Why, yes, you are so! You are, too, allergic to olives!
Who let that damn dog get into my box of chocolate-covered cherries? I was gonna drop them by WyeVonne's. Miz Marshall down more...

A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.
"Well," said a customer, "I never saw anything as peculiar as that!"
"What's so peculiar about it?" the bartender said. "His wife sent him out for a jar of olives."