Air Jokes / Recent Jokes
161. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write' Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
162. Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
163. Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
164. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.
165. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A: The Blonde!
166. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
167. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the 11 in 9-1-
1.
168. Q: Did you hear more...
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn't they just throw out the pest.
"Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
President Clinton was to represent the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated' state visit' to Great Britain. Air Force One stopped at a bright red carpet along which the President strode to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses.
The coach proceeded through the streets enroute to Buckingham Palace, the President and the Queen alternating between exchanging pleasantries and waving out their respective windows to the cheering throngs.
At one point, the right rear horse produced a thunderous, cataclysmic fart that reverberated through the air and rattled the doors of the coach. Presidents and Queens are, first and foremost, human beings. Their first reaction was to focus their attentions outside their respective windows, and behave as if nothing extraordinary had happened. The Queen, steeped in decades of experience living with the mundane and bizzare together, was the first to more...
DOS AIR - All the passengers go out into the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets into the
air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again.. Then they grab the plane again, push it
back into the air, hop on, etcetera.
WINDOWS 95 AIRLINES - The terminal is very neat and clean. The attendants are all very attractive and
the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. After your plane arrives 6 months late, you begin
to wonder why it has not arrived yet. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the
clouds, and at 20, 000 feet it crashes without warning.
MAC AIRWAYS - The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the
same. When asked questions about the flight they reply that you don't want to know, don't need
to know, and would you please return to seat and watch the movie.
OS/2 SKYWAYS - The terminal is almost empty, with only a prospective passengers milling about. more...
The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."
The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."
OUR Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshi that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. "Obviously the Air Force knows theres no such thing as a perfectly good aircraft," the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, "because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in one as the Army pays its men to jump.""Youve got it all wrong, Major," an Air Force sergeant replied. "The Army figures anyone stupid enough to jump out of an airplane voluntarily is gonna be too dumb to bitch about the salary."