"If Operating Systems were Airlines" joke

DOS AIR - All the passengers go out into the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets into the
air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again.. Then they grab the plane again, push it
back into the air, hop on, etcetera.
WINDOWS 95 AIRLINES - The terminal is very neat and clean. The attendants are all very attractive and
the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. After your plane arrives 6 months late, you begin
to wonder why it has not arrived yet. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the
clouds, and at 20, 000 feet it crashes without warning.
MAC AIRWAYS - The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the
same. When asked questions about the flight they reply that you don't want to know, don't need
to know, and would you please return to seat and watch the movie.
OS/2 SKYWAYS - The terminal is almost empty, with only a prospective passengers milling about. Airline
personnel walk around apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to
time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how
good the real flight will be on theses new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines,
but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technician to finish the flight systems.
FLY WINDOWS NT - All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the
outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are
flying.
WINGS of OS/400 - The airline has bought ancient DC-3's, arguably the best and safest planes that ever
flew and painted "747" on their tails to look as if they are fast. The flight attendants. of course,
attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per
hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the
frequent flyer club.
MVS AIRLINES - The passengers all gather in the hangar, watching hundreds of technicians check the
flight systems on this immense, luxary aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over
1, 000 passengers. All the passengers scramble abroad, as do the necessary complement of 200
technicians. The pilot takes his place in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realize that
the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors!
UNIX EXPRESS - Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They
gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to
put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircrafts, but give them all the same name.
Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.