Aisle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Ride those little electronic cars/dinosaurs at the front of the store.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
Play with the automatic doors.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I more...

Why is a bride always smiling as she walks down the aisle at her wedding? No more blowjobs.

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an
obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put
everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing
down the aisle and announced to the passengers,
"Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll
be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely
people, if you could just put your trays up, that
would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a
well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't
moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over
those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your
trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country,
I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without
missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my more...

Two government economists were returning home from a field meeting. As with all government travelers, they were assigned the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were occupying the center seat on opposite sides of the aisle.
They continued their discussion of the knotty problem that had been the subject of their meeting through takeoff and meal service until finally one of the passengers in an aisle seat offered to trade places so they could talk and he could sleep.
After switching seats, one economist remarked to the other that it was the first time an economic discussion ever kept anyone awake.

Santa and his son were visiting America for the very first time.
Santa was at a Local Food store going up and down the aisles with his son.
Santa asked, "What is this??
Santa's son, "Powdered orange juice"
Santa, "Powdered orange juice??"
Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh orange juice."
A few minutes later, in a different aisle Santa asked again, "And what is this? Son, "Powdered milk"
Santa, "Powdered milk??"
Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!"
A few minutes later, in a different aisle...
Santa, "And give a look here! Baby Powder !! What a country, What a country!"

A few years ago, I applied for a job at Kodak. I made it through all the interviews with flying colours, and the only thing left was the drug test. I was confident in passing, but there was one slight problem: I have *very* shy kidneys. I've had to sneak out of the doctor's office on more than one occasion, because I can't "go" and fill up a cup on command. Usually, this is a good thing, as I can go to a concert or football game, drink beer all day, and be fine until I get home, while my friends are standing in line in the bathrooms several times during the same time period.

So, to prepare, on the morning I had to take the test, I drank my usual 10-cup pot of coffee, and several large glasses of water, and for the 20-minute trip to Kodak, I filled a plastic gallon jug with water, and finished it off on the way. Now, Kodak has huge parking lots, each containg hundreds and hundreds of cars, and by the time I got there, the visitor's lots were pretty full, and I had more...

1. Juggle the fruit.
2. Wedge things in all the freezer and refrigerator doors, stopping them from closing all the way.
3. Purchase a live lobster and turn it loose in the store.
4. Shake all the sodas.
5. Have shopping cart races down the aisles.
6. Dump the tray of food samples into your purse.
7. Talk to the fresh fish.
8. Pop the champagne bottles.
9. Hold a bowling tournament in the aisles, using canteloupes for bowling balls and pineapples for bowling pins.
10. "Accidentally" drop a jar of pickles and walk away quickly.
11. Fill a shopping cart with items such as kleenex, diapers and toilet paper and leave it in the cereal aisle.
12. Talk to your Aunt Mildred, using a banana as a telephone.
13. Throw a party.
14. Fall alseep in a shopping cart in the middle of an aisle.
15. "Drive" your shopping cart up and down the aisles while making race car noises.
16. Try to auction off a grapefruit.
17. more...