Alaska Jokes / Recent Jokes

Alaska governor Sarah Palin (the vice president nomination)reveals her history in this exclusive footage of her accepting therepublican committee's nomination to be interim vice president (untilMcCain's heart gives out).

I have looked into the future.The bad news is: Sarah Palin is elected President on November 6,2012.The good news is:On December 21,2012,the world comes to an end.

Alaska makes Craig an honorary citizen. The Governor of Alaska(now John McCain's 2008 running mate) sends Craig Ferguson a personalvideo offering honorary citizenship to the host. From June of 2007.

"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job" -George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign
"This is a great day for France!" -Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral
"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know?... I bet if they did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'" -George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students
"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex... uh... setbacks." -George Bush
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change." -Dan Quayle
"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here." more...

The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this bulletin...
"Warning: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field.
We advise outdoorsmen to wear noisy little bells on their clothing, so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear manure: Black bear manure is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear manure has little bells in it and smells like pepper."

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day whenSleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!"Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him." The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go ahead, Dopey, ask him, ask him!"The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me, young man?" Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes." The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask. Dopey asks, "Well, do.... do they have nuns in Alaska?" The Pope replies, "Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska." The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!"The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues, "Well, uh, do they have, uh, black nuns in more...

Watertown, New York:
It was eagle-eyed zookeepers who noticed first. The DNA testing only
proved what they already suspected.
The Thompson Park Zoo's American bald eagle breeding program was going
nowhere. Not with two males, anyway.
"We had our suspicions right away. The birds are virtually the identical
size," said Director Glenn D. Dobrogosz, who laughed Tuesday about the
gender mix-up that provided a comical start to the zoo's new eagle
breeding program.
"It happens. Not a lot. But it happens," he said.
The two American bald eagles - supposedly a male and female - arrived at
the zoo last July from the Bird Treatment and Learning Center in
Anchorage, Alaska.
The two males became good buddies but zookeepers quickly realized there
would be no amorous flights for these two, Dobrogosz said.
Because bald eagle males and females share the same coloring
characteristics, it is difficult to determine gender more...