Alt Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Exactly five hundred. 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed. 7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs. 17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs. 21 to flame the spell checkers. 49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list. 20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames. 32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb. 69 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bul bs be stopped. 41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant more...
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five hundred.
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.
7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
21 to flame the spell checkers.
49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb.
69 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we more...
How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
1, 392:
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently,
4 to complain that they were happy with the old one,
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs,
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs,
53 to flame the spell checkers,
156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list,
41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames,
109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb,
203 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. more...
Q: How many alt. anagrams readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to say it can't be done because there aren't enough vowels, one to be clever and change "a lightbulb" into "bull bit hag", and one to try and sell copies of the "Anagram for Windows" program he wrote.
Q: How many alt. fan. pratchett readers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to actually change the bulb, one to write amusing footnotes about it, one to propose to Laura, and a newbie to ask if that's really THE Terry Or colette or both, and then to realise that the speed of light can't be measured, except in badgers, or possibly multiple of pi, then to say sod it and ask if anyone knows where to find the lyrics for the hedgehog song...
Q: How many alt. folklore. urban readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It depends on the way the bulb is threaded.
Q: How many alt. folklore. urban readers does it take more...
Q: How many sci. math readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Pi. Two hold the ladder, one the bulb, but something irrational remains about it.
Q: How many alt. tla readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One-no! Six is!
Q: How many alt. newbie readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Me! Me too! Me too!
Q: How many alt. fan. hofstadter readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They have special lightbulbs that screw themselves.
Q: How many alt. fan. douglas-adams readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 42.
Q: How many alt. alien. visitors readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. (screw screw screw) Aargh! The light! I'm being abducted!
Q: How many alt. 1d readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hmmm, yes, very funny, but what has this got to do with 1d?
Q: How many alt. spam readers does it take to change a more...
Q: How many alt. test readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One postmaster and 100 autoresponder mailbombs.
Q: How many alt. atheism readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to screw the bulb, one to prove that it exists anyway.
Q: How many AOL users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One screws in the lightbulb, but seven more do too, due to a software bug.
Q: How many AOL users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven. One to ask to be on the lightbulb gif mailing list, nine to say "ME TOO!", and another to post a message asking for the intructions on how to view a lightbulb.
Q: How many IRC chatters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They're so busy saying hello, goodbye, and kicking each other off that no one ever has enough time to get anything done!
Q: How many humor theorists does it take to submit a light bulb joke?
A: 300--one to more...
Don't you wish when life is bad
and things just don't compute,
That all we really had to do
was stop and hit reboot?
Things would all turn out ok,
life could be so sweet
If we had those special keys
Ctrl, Alt, and Delete
Your boss is mad, your bills not paid,
your wife, well she's just mute
Just stop and hit those wonderful keys
that make it all reboot
You'd like to have another job
but you fear living in the street?
You solve it all and start a new,
Ctrl, Alt, and Delete