Although Jokes / Recent Jokes

Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.This widow had a grown-up daughterWho had hair of red.My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed.This made my dad my son-in-lawAnd changed my very life.My daughter was my mother, For she was my father's wife.To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy, I soon became the fatherOf a bouncing baby boy.My little baby then becameA brother-in-law to dad.And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad.For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brotherTo the widow's grown-up daughterWho, of course, was my step-mother.Father's wife then had a son, Who kept them on the run.And he became my grandson, For he was my daughter's son.My wife is now my mother's motherAnd it makes me blue.Because, although she is my wife, She's my grandmother too.If my wife is my grandmother, Then I am her grandchild.And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild.For now I more...

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties.
The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"
Once again the battle was on, and once more, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the more...

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew werein danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which thecaptain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vesselssending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calmas ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle wason, however, the Captain and his crew repelled both boardingparties, although this time more casualties occurred.Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recountingthe day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"The Captain, more...

By Ogden Nash
In Baltimore there lived a boy,
He wasn't anybody's joy.
Although his name was Jabez Dawes,
His character was full of flaws.
In school he never led his classes,
He hid old ladies' reading glasses,
His mouth was open when he chewed,
And elbows to the table glued.
He stole the milk of hungry kittens,
And walked through doors marked No Admittance.
He said he acted thus because
There wasn't any Santa Claus.
Another trick that tickled Jabez
Was crying "Boo!" at little babies.
He brushed his teeth, they said in town,
Sideways instead of up and down.
Yet people pardoned every sin,
And viewed his antics with a grin,
Till they were told by Jabez Dawes,
"There isn't any Santa Claus!"
Deploring how he did behave,
His parents swiftly sought their grave.
They hurried through the portals pearly,
And Jabez left the funeral early.
Like whooping cough, from child to more...

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don`t really care for them.

4. Although they don`t really care for them, they always have one Around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leaves them.

7. Although the women leaves them they still don`t learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.


Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress more...

Many, many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be,
This widow had a daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course was my stepmother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mom.
And it surely makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my more...

Many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow
Who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a daughter
Who had gorgeous hair of red,
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life,
For daughter was my mother
Since she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters more
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad,
And so became my uncle,
Though this made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother,
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son
Who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandson
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mom
And it surely makes me blue,
Because, although she is my more...