Although Jokes / Recent Jokes

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don `t really care for them.
4. Although they don `t really care for them, they always have one
Around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their
Luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off
If the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don `t learn from their
Mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive
Clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something To wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress
Beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, more...

Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just more...

George was very excited about his new rifle and decided to go bear hunting. He quickly spotted a small brown bear, took aim and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw standing before him a large black bear.
"You have two choices," the black bear said. "Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
George decided to bend over. Although he was quite sore for a couple of weeks, he soon recovered and vowed revenge. Heading out on another trip, he found the black bear and shot it. Again, there was a tap on his shoulder. This time it was a huge grizzly bear that stood before him.
"That was a big mistake, George. You have two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have really rough sex," growled the grizzly.
Feeling that it would be much safer to comply, George bent over. Although he survived it, this time it took him several months before he finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed more...

Dear Mom and Dad:
It has now been three months since I left for college. I realize I have been remiss in writing and apologize for my thoughtlessness in not having written sooner. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you're sitting down... Okay?
Well, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and concussion I suffered when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only had to spend two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and my headaches are down to only three a day.
Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at a gas station nearby and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He visited me at the hospital and, since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with more...

Standardized Guide to the Bases Do you remember middle school/junior high/high school? If so, do you remember talking about' the bases' with your friends?" Yeah man, at the dance, X and Y went behind the gym and they got tosecond base!"Well that was cool and all, but what the hell was secondbase? Tongue kissing? Up the shirt? Noone was really sure. Also, thebases tended to get progressively more intense as you got older. What's aperson to do? Here, we mourn the passing of using baseball ananlogies to describesexual activity. But let's face it, there are more than four stages intodays day and age of sex play. So, in the interests of both bringingbaseball sex metaphors in line with the complications of modern romanceand with standardizing the bases, we present the Standardized Guide to theBases. First, let's examine what the bases could have meant in the old days. --First Base- This was almost always kissing, although one guyI knew thought it meant holding hands. Sometimes it more...

"Dear Mother and Dad,
It has been three months now since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not writing before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read further unless you are sitting down, okay?
Well, then, I'm getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty well healed. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day.
Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump was witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me in the hospital and since I have nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his more...

Reporter: Governor Clinton, what damage do you think has been done to your campaign by your wife`s comment the other day about how "Hitler was really a great guy"?

Clinton: (Mixture of sadness and anger, but articulate as always.) Hillary and myself are shocked, outraged, and deeply saddened by this terrible misunderstanding. The media hype is way out of proportion. You guys should know us by now--we would never say anything like that. And though she did say a few things about Germany she certainly didn`t mean anything offensive by her remarks, which I might add have been willfully and shamefully taken out of context and distorted. There is nothing in my life, or Hillary`s life, which can be construed as derogatory toward the German people. We honor them. Some of our best friends are Germans. My own grandmother was one-quarter German. And it certainly isn`t true that Germans are excluded from our country club. In my eleven years as Governor of Arkansas I was more...