Alzheimer Jokes / Recent Jokes
A doctor called up a fellow and said, "Mr. Michaels I have some distressing news. As you know, your wife was in for some blood tests recently."
The guy says, "Yes, that's right. Is there anything wrong?"
"Well," the doctor replies, "here's the thing. There's another women who came in for blood tests also and she has the exact same name as your wife.
Now, the problem is, I got the results of their tests and one of them has aids and the other has Alzheimer's."
"Oh, my God," the man said, "what will I do, doc?"
"Well, I've been giving this some thought," said the doctor, "and here's what you do. Take her for a ride out in the country. When you get way out there, throw her out of the car and take off fast.
"Then what?" says the distraught man.
"Well...if she finds her way home, whatever you do, DON'T FUCK HER!"
Scientists have developed a daily pill that can cure Alzheimer's disease. To ensure that elderly patients take the medication, doctors plan on hiding the pills far from home.
...the alzheimer's memory walk is coming soon...you tell 3 people, they tell 3 people, and before you know it, you have a thousand people gathered together who cant remember why.
2 good things for having Alzheimer's disease:
1. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
2. You meet someone new every day.
Guyness QuizTake This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a. Present it to the president of the United States. b. Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations. c. Take it apart. 2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most? a. Innocence. b. Idealism. c. Cherry bombs. 3. When is it okay to kiss another male? a. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions. b. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)c. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and more...
Experts say it is not uncommon for Alzheimer's patients, who live in the moment, to embark on new romantic relationships--which is not considered truly cheating on one's marriage.
Upon hearing this news, Bill Clinton held a press conference announcing that he's been suffering from Alzheimer's for the past 30 years.