Amish Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond.

The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen."

Which means: "Don't drink the water; the cows have shit in it."

The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English."

The Amish man says: "Use two hands,.You'll get more."

What would you call an Amish guy with his arm up a horse's ass? A Mechanic.

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.

The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign. . .

"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step on exhaust."

Hear about the Amish couple that was getting a divorce after 55 years of marriage?
he wife told the judge that her husband was "driving her buggy!"

Hear about the Amish couple that was getting a divorce after 55 years of marriage? he wife told the judge that her husband was "driving her buggy!"

Hear about the Amish couple that was getting a divorce after 55 years of marriage?
The wife told the judge that her husband was "driving her buggy!"

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24 year old blonde stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to the more...