Amish Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How does an Amish father find his daughter in the field?
A: Pretty good.

Q: How does an Amish father find his daughter in the field? A: Pretty good.

A number of people were shot to death at a PA amish school. Police are looking into who sold them the slingshots.

(This wasn't written by me or about me. But it might as well have been.)
There was a knock on the door. It was the man from Microsoft. "Not you again," I said.
"Sorry," he said, a little sheepishly. "I guess you know why I'm here."
Indeed I did. Microsoft's $300 million campaign to promote the Windows 95 operating system was meant to be universally effective, to convince every human being on the planet that Windows 95 was an essential, some would say integral, part of living. Problem was, not everyone had bought it. Specifically, I hadn't. I was the Last Human Being Without Windows 95. And now this little man from Microsoft was at my door, and he wouldn't take no for an answer.
"No," I said.
"You know I can't take that," he said, pulling out a copy of Windows 95 from a briefcase. "Come on. Just one copy. That's all we ask."
"Not interested," I said. "Look, isn't there someone else more...

Dear God,

I understand you are trying to win me back, and perhaps send a sign that the apocalypse is nigh, but when you made the words "Amish School Shooting" appear on my television screen, I think it was a bit overzealous. I get the point.

Your new convert,
Tim