Amusement Jokes

Why didn't the blonde go on the amusement park ride?
Because he was too tall.

Recently Michael opened an amusement park...
You have to be at least 4 feet tall to ride Michael!

A young man took a blind date to an amusement park.
They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored.
"What would you like to do next?" he asked.
"I wanna be weighed," she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. "One-twelve," said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right.
Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then he asked what else she would like to do.
"I wanna be weighed," she said.
I really latched onto a square one tonight, thought the young man, and using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home.
The girl's mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked, "What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a nice time tonight?"
"Wousy!" said the girl.

Once, a man at an amusement park had to use the bathroom so bad that he couldn't wait for the long line to the men's room. He asked if he could use the girl's bathroom quickly since it wasn't occupied. A female worker said that he could use it only if he did it quickly and didn't push any of the 3 buttons in the bathroom. The man went in and enjoyed a piss, hurried and washed his hands, but became curious of what the letters above the 3 buttons meant. He pushed and found out by pushing the first button labeled "WW" that it meant warm water. He enjoyed the warm water on his genital so he pushed the second button that said "BP". Baby powder blew out of a hole and powdered his below. Then, there was one more button that said "ATR". The man thought that the first two were nice, so he pushed the button. This one hurt so bad that he passed out. When he woke up in hospital, he noticed that his Willie was missing. The lady that worked at the amusement park more...

This List Includes: * Things you can do with absolutely nothing * Things you can do with very little * Things you can do with another person The amusement potential for each activity is denoted. Things you can do with absolutely nothing * Push your eyes for interesting light show (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things-is your subconscience trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the same effects on TV? * See how long you can hold your breath (Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as possible. My personal best is 2:00 (exactly). * Try to not think about polar bears (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you more...