Ancestor Jokes

"You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower." "Really? Which rat was he?"

You've had at least one female relative who draws eyebrows on her face and they are always asymmetrical.You spent your entire childhood thinking that everyone calls roast beef "brisket".Your family dog responds to complaints uttered in Yiddish.Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents.You've experienced the phenomena of 50 people fitting into a 10 foot wide dining room hitting each other with plastic plates trying to get to a deli tray.You thought pasta was the stuff used exclusively for kugel and kasha and bowties.You watched Lawrence Welk and Ed Sullivan every Sunday night.You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.You never knew anyone who's last name didn't end in one of 5 standard suffixes.You thought all women's breasts were at least a C cup.You were surprised to find out that wine doesn't always taste like year-old cranberry sauce.You can look at gefilte fish and not turn green.You think the goyim are out to get more...