Childhood Jokes

Childhood: Childhood is that wonderful time of your life when all you have to do to lose weight is to take a bath.
Vacations: People go on vacation to forget things, and when they open their suitcases, they realise they did.
Minor Surgery. A minor surgery is one performed on someone else.
Mealtime: Mealtime is when the kids sit down to continue eating.
Luck: Of course there's such a thing as luck. How else could you explain your enemies' successes?
Wedding: Showers for the bride and curtains for the groom!

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?

When it's time to go back to their childhood, men are already there.

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

You might be a child of the 80's if...... you have deep, personal relationships via computer with people you've never met in real life.... the phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket or playing tennis.... you know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song.... not that you'd do it personally, but body piercing captivates your attention.... you remember the days when cocaine was just fine in powder form, thankyouverymuch.... you think the "the Gay 90's" refers to this decade and sexual orientation.... the Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.... you remember the first time "Space: Above and Beyond" aired - it was called "Battlestar Galactica".... songs by Debbie Gibson still haunt you to this day.... three words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?... you remember the days that hooking your computer into your television wasn't an expensive more...

Late Nite Jokes heard on T. V." There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who wears Bounty on his head." - Jay Leno"We are starting to learn more about Osama bin Laden. For his birthday one year, somebody gave him a $4 Timex. We know that. He is married to the daughter of a guy named Mullah Muhammed Omar. I think her name is Tiffany Omar. Insiders say that the marriage is not working out. Apparently they are living in separate caves." - David Letterman"It looks like now the military action is taking effect. They think that bin Laden's organization is starting to break down. Today satellite photos actually show the sand fleas are leaving his beard." - David Letterman"There are now rumors that the Taliban has been poisoning the food we have been dropping. We should make a deal with the people of Afghanistan. We'll taste your food, you check our more...