Anesthesia Jokes / Recent Jokes

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to ‘beautiful'? His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!" Animals
Beautiful? "There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because more...

A husband was coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in a hospital.

His wife was sitting at his bedside, when his eyes fluttered open and he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Flattered, the wife continued her vigil. Later the husband woke up again and said, "You're cute."

"What happened to beautiful?" asked the wife.

"The drugs are wearing off," the husband replied.

Some people have died in strange ways...here are a few.
Attila the Hun:
One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had conquered all of Asia by 450 AD-from Mongolia to the edge of the Russian Empire-by destroying villages and pillaging the countryside.
How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night
In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his reputation for ferocity on the battlefield, he tended to eat and drink lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however, he really cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during the night he suffered a nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He drowned in his own blood and was found dead the next morning.
Tycho Brahe:
An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century. His ground breaking research allowed Sir Isaac Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.
How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time
In the 16th century, it was considered more...

Attila the Hun
One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had conquered all of Asia by 450
AD--from Mongolia to the edge of the Russian Empire--by destroying villages and pillaging the
countryside.
How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night
In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his reputation for ferocity on the
battlefield, he tended to eat and drink lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however,
he really cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during the night he suffered a
nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He drowned in his own blood and was found dead the next
morning.
Tycho Brahe
An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century. His ground breaking research allowed Sir Isaac
Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.
How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time
In the 16th century, it was considered an insult to more...