Organic Jokes

The other day, it was my turn to prepare dinner, so I asked my wife to go over to the local market and buy some organic vegetables.She came back rather upset. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I don't think I like that produce guy. I went and looked
around for your organic vegetables and I couldn't find any. So I asked him where the organic vegetables were.""He didn't know what I was talking about, so I said,' These vegetables are for my husband. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'""And he said,' No, ma'am. You'll have to do that yourself.'"

Excerpted from the book "Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest," (c) 1996 by John J Kohut and Roland Sweet
Anchorage, Alaska, requested an exemption from an Environmental Protection Agency rule requiring cities to remove at least 30 percent of "organic waste" from incoming sewage before treating it. Officials pointed out that the city had so little organic waste to begin with that its sewage before treatment than most cities' sewage after treatment. The EPA, nevertheless, insisted that the city comply with the rule, forcing it to have to pay fish processors to dump unused fish parts into city sewers so there would be enough organic waste to remove.

Activation Energy: The useful quantity of energy available in one cup of coffee.

Atomic Theory: A mythological explanation of the nature of matter, first proposed by the ancient Greeks, and now thoroughly discredited by modern computer simulation. Attempts to verify the theory by modern computer simulation have failed. Instead, it has been demonstrated repeatedly that computer outputs depend upon the color of the programmer`s eyes, or occasionally upon the month of his or her birth. This apparent astrological connection, at last, vindicates the alchemist`s view of astrology as the mother of all science.

Bacon, Roger: An English friar who dabbled in science and made experimentation fashionable. Bacon was the first science popularizer to make it big on the banquet and talk-show circuit, and his books even outsold the fad diets of the period.

Biological Science: A contradiction in terms.

Bunsen Burner: A device invented by Robert Bunsen more...

THE LAST WORD
The Ultimate Scientific Dictionary

Activation Energy: The useful quantity of energy available in one cup of coffee.

Atomic Theory: A mythological explanation of the nature of matter, first proposed by the ancient Greeks, and now thoroughly discredited by modern computer simulation. Attempts to verify the theory by modern computer simulation have failed. Instead, it has been demonstrated repeatedly that computer outputs depend upon the color of the programmer's eyes, or occasionally upon the month of his or her birth. This apparent astrological connection, at last, vindicates the alchemist's view of astrology as the mother of all science.

Bacon, Roger: An English friar who dabbled in science and made experimentation fashionable. Bacon was the first science popularizer to make it big on the banquet and talk-show circuit, and his books even outsold the fad diets of the period.

Biological Science: A contradiction in more...

Whats organic dental floss? Pubic hair!