Angel Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dived behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the giggling of statues, rustling of bushes and snapping of twigs.
After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it more...

For many years, two statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park. One day an angel appeared and said, "Since the two of you have been such exemplary statues, I a going to grant you your greatest wish. I shall bring you both to life for thirty minutes, during which time you may do whatever you desire." With a clap of the angel's hands, the two statues came to life.
The two statues smiled at each other shyly and then dove behind some tall bushes. The angel grinned and listened as the statues giggled and laughed, bushes rustled and twigs snapped. Fifteen minutes later, the statues emerged from the bushes smiling and looking satisfied.
"You still have fifteen minutes left," the angel said with a wink.
The female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! But this time, YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL shit on its head."

One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf. But he couldn't, since it was Sunday. But hefigured, well, it's ok if i just play a little bit. So he changed clothes and went out into the green. Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it toJesus. However, Jesus didn't do anything when hetold him. "Aren't you going to punish him?" he asked Jesus. "Yes, just wait." he replied. Just then the pope hit a beautiful hole in one."Well, that's not a punishment!" the angel said in disgust."Who is he going to tell?"

Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked the angel humbly, "I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam War... Could you help me?" "Of course," the angel said, and when he touched the man's back, the man felt relief for the first time in years. The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. He asked if the angel could do anything about his poor eyesight. The angel smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them into the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively - "Don't touch me!" he cried, "I'm on a disability pension."

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had while making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree.
Santa was furious. "I can't believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours - all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"
Just then, the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree. He says "Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?"
And thus the tradition of angels atop the Christmas trees more...

I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together. Can I borrow that quarter,' cause my mom told me to call home when I fell in loveWhat's wrong? You're looking a little sad and gloomy. What you need is some vitamin me. Are your legs tired?' cause you been running through my mind ALL day long. Are you lost?' cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven. Is your father a thief?' cause he stole the sparkle from the stars, and put it in your eyes. (yo, watch out though, and be prepared with a snappy answer just in case she says' yes')Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again? What's that in your eye? Oh... it's a sparkle. If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight? Can I see that label? I just wanted to know if you were made in heaven. Do you like raisins? How about a date? So... How am I doin'? I more...

A doctor died and went to heaven. When he got to the gates, he found that there was a long line to get in. He went to the front of the line and told the angel that since he was a doctor and that doctors are important people, he should be allowed to bypass the line and go right in. The angel replied: "Up here, everyone is equal. Now, please go to the end of the line and wait your turn." The doctor grumbled but did what was requested. After a while, someone with a white smock and stethoscope walked right past the line and straight in. The doctor ran right back to the angel and said: "Hey, how come you let that doctor right in and not me!" The angel replied: "That's not a doctor; that is God playing Doctor."