Angeles Jokes / Recent Jokes
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find The Los Angeles Times, November 2
' Light' meals are lower in fat, calories Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
Alcohol ads promote drinking The Hartford Courant, November 18
Malls try to attract shoppers The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than more...
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us -Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -The Los Angeles Times, November 2
"Light" meals are lower in fat, calories -Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
Alcohol ads promote drinking -The Hartford Courant, November 18
Malls try to attract shoppers -The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought -The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men -The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete -The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes -The Daily more...
An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked forhis departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay due to the increased traffic now leaving New York. Sometime later he finally received his clearance and decided he would try to make up the time lost by asking for a direct route to Los Angeles. Halfway across the country he was told to turn due South. Knowing that this turn would now throw him further behind schedule he inquired, quiteagitated, to the controller for the reason of the turn off course. The controller replied that the turn was for noise abatement. The pilot was infuriated and said to the controller, "Look buddy, I am already way behind schedule with all the delays you guys have given me today. I really dont see how I could be causing a noise problem forpedestrians when I am more...
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.
Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.
"Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend.
"In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?"
Firm Grasp of the Obvious Department
From the Notebook pages of The New Republic 1995
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
- Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us
- Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut
- The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
- The Los Angeles Times, November 2
'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories
- Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
Alcohol ads promote drinking
- The Hartford Courant, November 18
Malls try to attract shoppers
- The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought
- The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men
- The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
- Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete
- The Miami Herald, July more...
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it."Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend."In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. What would you do?"
In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets. Kibo.
In Carmel, N. Y., a man can`t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. nj.
Attention Gooley: In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
In Miami, it`s illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Blair!
In St. Louis, it`s illegal to sit on the curb of any city more...