Angels Jokes / Recent Jokes

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates. ..............
"Look everything should be in balance.
For every 10 deer there should be a lion.
Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....
And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes....
And here is south America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance."
One of the angels asked... "God, what is this beautiful country here?"
God said "Aha... that is the crown piece of all. INDIA. My most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains. more...

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates.

'Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion.

Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....
And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature.
But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.

And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests. So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.

One of the angels asked...
'God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?'

God said........' Ahah... that is the crown piece of all.
' Sri Lanka, my most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly People. more...

The Angels may discipline Gary Matthews Jr. for refusing to provide information about his alleged purchase of HGH.

Matthews will eventually have to cooperate like other steroid users, and apologize without meaning it.

Dear Lee,
My Doctor and I went singing Christmas Carols last night... it was SO much fun! He had a brand new song book that we used, with many new versions of old favorites. Some of our other friends came also: Alphonse and his voices Ned, Peter, Daniel, Grimace, June, and Butch/Bitch (hee hee, even his *voices* have voices!); Gringo (you remember Gringo?), but they wouldn't let him out of the jacket; and Nutty Nadine, along with a few others. Everyone was asking for you, wondering when you'd be back... except for Nadine of course - she still says that's YOUR baby!
Here's a little preview for you from Dr. R. Terrycloth's new songbook:
Schizophrenia:
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality:
We Three Kings Disoriented Are
Dementia:
I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
Narcissistic:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
Mania:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and...
or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expenses
Borderline more...

Dear Lee,
My Doctor and I went singing Christmas Carols last night. .. it was SO much fun!! He had a brand new song book that we used, with many new versions of old favorites. Some of our other friends came also: Alphonse and his voices Ned, Peter, Daniel, Grimace, June, and Butch/Bitch (hee hee, even his *voices* have voices!); Gringo (you remember Gringo?), but they wouldn't let him out of the jacket; and Nutty Nadine, along with a few others. Everyone was asking for you, wondering when you'd be back. .. except for Nadine of course - she still says that's YOUR baby!
Here's a little preview for you from Dr. R. Terrycloth's new songbook: Schizophrenia:
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality:
We Three Kings Disoriented Are
Dementia:
I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
Narcissistic:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
Mania:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and. ..
or Deck the Halls and Spare No more...

Enver Hoxha, dictator of Albania, dies and due to a bureaucratic mixup
is sent to socialist heaven. Of course, once there he has to stand in line
as St.Peter is interviewing the candidates for socialist heaven ahead of him.
Ludwig von Beethoven is first.
St.Peter says: "Who are you?"
Beethoven says: "Eh ?"
St.Peter waves his arms and cures Beethoven and says: "Who are you ?"
Beethoven says: "Ludwig von Beethoven"
St.Peter says: "Do you have any papers?"
Beethoven says: "No."
St.Peter says: "Then you will have to prove it."
Beethoven says: "Give me a choir of angels."
St.Peter calls the angels forward and watches Beethoven conduct the Ninth.
St.Peter smiles and says: "Wonderful. Welcome, Ludwig."
Beethoven goes in.
Shakespeare is next.
St.Peter says: "Who are you ?"
Shakespeare says: "William more...