Angels Jokes / Recent Jokes
As the minister was preparing to begin his sermon he noticed a young woman in the front pew, dressed in a tight, skimpy dress with her breasts almost hanging out. Unable to concentrate on his message, he dismissed the parishioners and asked to speak to the young woman after everyone else left.
"What is the meaning of this? he said sternly. "What do you mean by coming to church dressed in such a fashion?"
"Why, Reverend," the young gal replied, "All of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."
"Well, let me check," the Reverend said, as he placed his head between her breasts.
A few minutes later, he raised his head and said, "I'm sorry, young lady, but I do not hear any angels singing!"
"Well, of course not, Reverend," she replied. "You aren't plugged in yet!"
The Devils challenged the Angels to a game of cricket.
"But we've got all the cricketers," said the Angels.
"Yes. But we've got all the umpires!" exclaimed The Devils.
The devils challenged the angels to a game of cricket. "but we've got all the cricketers," said the angels. The devils said:
"yes. But we've got all the umpires! "
'Twas the fight before Christmas
when all through the house
the tension was rising
'tween in-laws and spouse.
Expecting the onslaught, she'd shopped, wrapped, and baked,
Mom verged on exhaustion, her back cramped and ached.
"This year will be perfect!" determined she vowed
Then she lined up her brood, and she ordered aloud,
"Now, listen up, kids! Clean your ears, so you'll hear it!
You'll stop all your whining and get into the spirit!"
Their kinfolk were traveling from locales afar,
to watch little Jen as she held up the Star,
Jeremiah as drummer, and Jimmy as goat,
and the rest of the rugrats playing Heavenly Host.
The pastor who cast them, though' twas said he was braver
didn't trust Baby Paul to portray the sweet Savior.
Now the eve of the holiday pageant had come.
The mock angels fluttered, the wee drummer drummed,
and drummed and he drummed until Mom thought she'd more...
Q: What do you call big, ugly, hairy nun driving motorcycles?
A: Hell's Angels of Mercy.
Try this at home!
Ring! Ring! Ring!
1 - Hello, Angels 'R' Us, Inc.
2 - Do you sell angels?
1 - Why yes, we do!
2 - Great! I want a bucket of wings, extra crispy.