Annual Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, andby accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion gothim out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearesthospital."Well, Doc," he inquired anxiously, "is he going to make it?" "It's tough," said the doctor. "He'd have a better chance if youhadn't gutted him first."
After having his annual check up, a man is waiting in the doctor's office for his test results. He's called into the office where the doctor tells him that he has good news, and he has bad news.
"First the good news. Your penis has grown 4 inches."
"That's great news Doc. What's the bad news?" asked the man.
"It's malignant!" replied the doctor.
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table."Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you.""All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through."In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?""Put them on the chair, on top of mine."
After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful one. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."
"He's an arrogant, self-important jerk, piss on him!"
"You did. All over his suit, "Louise informed him. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him," said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday."
You consider your annual bath one too many.
You wore a baseball cap to the opera.
If you are 20 and you can still go in McDonald's playhouse.
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
Amsterdam (AP/UPI) -- While the Lewinsky scandal continues to rage on the front of American newspapers, a much different reaction has developed on this side of the Atlantic. To world-wise, sophisticated Europeans, the spectacle is a curious sideshow and another reason to mock and disdain the puritan morals of their American counterparts.
"You feelthy Americans, you make me seek," says sneering French graduate student Serge Tati, 47, expressing a common sentiment. Fashionably clad in a horizontal stripe t-shirt and skin-tight Speedo, he was recently relaxing on the Lido with his mistress Yvette LaFleur, 43. Like thousands of fellow French graduate students, he was enjoying his annual 28-week vacation.
"Beel Clinton, he is Euro, no. He eez moderne, he eez now. He has joie de vivre. He ravages zee young geerls. In my country, we geeve heem a medal, no?" asks Tati, deeply drawing on a clove cigarette.
"Oui, like Jerry Lewees," adds the topless more...