Antonio Jokes

Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins? Society.

A sheep herder made it in to San Antonio, Texas, after 10 years in the bush.
He found a saloon and approached the bar tender. He told the bartender "I need a woman."
The bartender said, "There are women all over San Antone for a price."
The sheep herder replied, "Just any woman won't do. I ain't fucked nothin' but goats 'n sheep for the last ten years. They got cockle burrs 'n mesquite thorns around their pussy and my old dick is tough with calluses on it, and I need a good tough piece of ass."
So the bartender tells him, "Well, you're in luck. The toughest broad in all San Antonio has a room right up stairs." The bartender picks up the phone contacts the lady, explains the situation, and tells the sheep herder to go
on up.
The sheep herder gets a small ice bucket with two Lone Star long necks (the favorite brew in San Atone), and proceeds up the stairs.
When he gets to the room he says, "The barkeep told me you more...

Two Italians, Luigi and Antonio, met on the street. "Hey, Antonio," said Luigi, "Where you been for the past two weeks? No one seen you around." "Dona talka to me, Luigi," replied Antonio. "I been inna jail." "Jail!" exclaimed Luigi. "What for you been in jail?" "Wella, Luigi," Antonio said, "I was lying onna dis beach, and the cops come, arrest me and throw me inna jail." "But dey dona throw you in jail just for lying onna da beach!", Luigi countered. "Yeah, but dis beach was screamin` and akickin` and ayellin`!"

New York Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce is out indefinitely with a strained neck. The former Pro Bowler injured himself looking up at the standings.

Rosa just got married and, being a girl who was brought up the traditional way, was still a virgin.
On her wedding night, she was at her mother's house and was very nervous. "Don't worry, Rosa," her mother reassured her. "Antonio's a good man. Go upstairs and he will take good care of you."
When Rosa got upstairs, Antonio took off his shirt, exposing his hairy chest. She quickly ran downstairs to her mother and said, "Mama, Antonio's got a big hairy chest."
"Don't worry, Rosa. All good men have hairy chests. Go back upstairs and he will take good care of you," said her mother.
Rosa went upstairs again and when she went into the bedroom, Antonio took off his pants, exposing his hairy legs. Once more, she turned and ran downstairs to her mother, "Mama, Antonio took off his pants and he has hairy legs!"
"Sweetheart, all good men have hairy legs," her mother explained. "Antonio is a good man. Go upstairs more...