Ape Jokes / Recent Jokes
What happened when the Ape won the door prize? He didn't take it - he already had a door!
What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus? You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!
Which song title makes an Ape heartsick? Gorilla My Dreams!
(Written by Michael Wilson for the Oregonian, Sunday, July 29th, 2001)
Let's say you're an ape. You're hanging out, you've got cool boots with individual toes. Ape City swings. Your job keeps you in torches and horse food. your wife looks good in green, which is a bit of luck, since that's all the women wear.
You lips move funny when you talk, but whatever.
Then this... this THING shows up. he's like an ape, but not quite. He's practically hairless. Does he shave his body? Creepy freak.
Then he opens his mouth and speaks. And he sounds just like Charlton Heston. And he won't shut up. And that voice. And sorry, but you can't deal with that today. He calls you names. he goes off on your stinking paws." He disrespects your leather.
So you bounce his scrawny head off some walls. you clamp a collar on him and lean him around town. You and your boys put the fire hose on his non-hairy self.
Where, exactly, is the problem more...
Why did the Ape jump off the building? He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!
Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head? A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!