Appearance Jokes / Recent Jokes

Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you've created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of "business," there's no telling how far you'll go. In the real working world, productivity is all a matter of appearances.Appearance: You are furiously taking notes while conducting an important telephone marketing survey.Reality: You are pretending to take notes while talking to your friend who has called collect from Bulgaria.Appearance: You are on the phone with a client in New York and you have said, "Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!"Reality: You are on the phone with a friend in Guam and you have said, "Yeah, this job is terrible, and my boss is such a pushy whining... Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!"Appearance: You are at your computer writing more...

A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him arepeeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing outthe other fans. The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where hisgrotesque appearance won't disturb anyone else. Finally he finds an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks the manin the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there. The man answers, "Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game." The leper sits down and adds, "As you can see, I have leprosy. Ifit disturbs you, I will move." "It doesn't bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game." A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits. Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere. Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowingme to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has causedyou more...

A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him arepeeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing outthe other fans.The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where hisgrotesque appearance won't disturb anyone else. Finally he finds an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks the manin the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there.The man answers, "Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game."The leper sits down and adds, "As you can see, I have leprosy. Ifit disturbs you, I will move.""It doesn't bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game."A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits.Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere.Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowingme to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has causedyou to get more...

Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you've created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of "business," there's no telling how far you'll go. In the real working world, productivity is all a matter of appearances.
Appearance: You are furiously taking notes while conducting an important telephone marketing survey.
Reality: You are pretending to take notes while talking to your friend who has called collect from Bulgaria.
Appearance: You are on the phone with a client in New York and you have said, "Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!"
Reality: You are on the phone with a friend in Guam and you have said, "Yeah, this job is terrible, and my boss is such a pushy whining... Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!"
Appearance: You are more...

by Dan Zevin
Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you've created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of "business," there's no telling how far you'll go. In the real working world, productivity is all a matter of appearances.
Appearance: You are furiously taking notes while conducting an important telephone marketing survey.
Reality: You are pretending to take notes while talking to your friend who has called collect from Bulgaria.

Appearance: You are on the phone with a client in New York and you have said, "Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!"
Reality: You are on the phone with a friend in Guam and you have said, "Yeah, this job is terrible, and my boss is such a pushy whining... Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell more...