Appearance Jokes / Recent Jokes
You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You...
Straighten it. Ignore it. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar- powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron.
The correct answer is "3" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing."
SOCIAL SKILLS
Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction: Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation Important social contacts A feeling of connectedness with other humans In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions: Get it over with as soon as possible Avoid getting invited to something more...
When Tom, the rising young insurance executive, appeared at his friend Ed's home in the early-morning hours, asking to be put up for the night, Ed was concerned by his friend's hollow-eyed appearance.
"What happened, Tom? You and your wife have a fight?"
"Yeah. When I got home tonight I was really beat, tired as hell. So when she asked me for fifty dollars for a new dress. . . "
"Yeah?"
"Well," Tom went on sheepishly, "I guess I must have been half asleep or something, because I said,' All right, but let's finish this dictation first.' "
Once Satharji was walking on the street & when he came to an electronic shop he went in & asked the keeper "How much is that T. V?" pointing at something.
"We don't sell things for Satharjis" replied the keeper
Then after some times he came with changing his clothes & appearance & asked again "How much is that T. V?" pointing at the same thing
"We don't sell things to Satharjis" replied the keeper.
Then again he came with changing his appearance & clothing's & asked again "How much is that T. V?"
"Sorry, I said you that we don't sell things to Satharjis"
Satharji got angry removed his wig & clothes & asked "How the hell do you know that I'm a Satharji?"
"Because Satharjis are stupid" replied the keeper
"Why?" asked the Satharji
"You were pointing at a microwave & asking me how much is that T. V"
Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word "engineer" is greatly
overused. If there's somebody in your life who you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him
this test to discern the truth.
THE ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST
You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You...
1. Straighten it.
2. Ignore it.
3. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered,
self-adjusting picture frame.
The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It
depends." in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing."
SOCIAL SKILLS - Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction.
"Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:
stimulating and thought-provoking conversation, more...
Q: Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A: Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you’ve created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of “business, ” there’s no telling how far you’ll go. In the real working world, productivity is all a matter of appearances.
Appearance: You are furiously taking notes while conducting an important telephone marketing survey.
Reality: You are pretending to take notes while talking to your friend who has called collect from Bulgaria.
Appearance: You are on the phone with a client in New York and you have said, “Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now’s a great time to buy, I tell ya! ”
Reality: You are on the phone with a friend in Guam and you have said, “Yeah, this job is terrible, and my boss is such a pushy whining… Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now’s a great time to buy, I tell ya! ”
Appearance: You are more...
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.