Approval Jokes / Recent Jokes

Almost immediately upon taking office, Barack Obama will press Congress for quick approval of his stimulus plan. Quick approval? Who does the president-elect think he is--Barack the magic Negro?

King Juan Carlos hired a public relations firmn to find out how the Spanish people felt about him. They informed him that he had 75% approval in the mountainous areas but only 50% approval elsewhere The
conclusion was that the reign in Spain was shaky on the plain.

Approval Seeker’s Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. - Washington writer Rozanne Weissman
The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don’t.
Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.
Arnold’s Laws of Documentation: (1) If it should exist, it doesn’t. (2) If it does exist, it’s out of date. (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.
Astrology Laws: It’s always the wrong time of the month. - Rozanne Weissman
Avery’s Rule of Three: Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job - it’s the start of a brand new series of three.
Baer’s Quartet: What’s good politics is bad economics; what’s bad politics is good economics; what’s good economics is bad politics; what’s bad economics is good politics. - Eugene Baer (Baer also allows that it can be restated more...

God created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a class action
suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a
temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the
cease and desist order for the earthly part.
Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in
the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.
Then God said, "Let there be light", and immediately the officials
demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip
mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would
come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to
make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire:
that he would obtain a building permit; and to conserve energy, would
turn the light off half the time. God agreed and said he would call the
light "Day" and the darkness more...

In the beginning, God created heaven and earth.Shortly thereafter God was in receipt of a notice to show cause why he shouldn't be cited for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary planning permit for the project, but was stymied by a Cease and Desist Order for the earthly part.At the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.Then God said, "Let there be light."Officials immediately demanded to know how the light would be made. Would it require strip mining? What about thermal pollution?God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire, and provisional approval was granted with the proviso that no smoke would result.The authorities demanded the issuance of a building permit, and (to conserve energy) required that the light be left off half the time. God agreed, saying he would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night." more...