Arab Jokes / Recent Jokes
An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time wasbeing wined and dined by the State Department. The GrandEmir was unused to the salt in American foods (frenchfries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantlysending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with aglass of water, but then came the time when he returnedempty-handed." Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the Grand Emir." A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered thewretched Abdul, "white man sit on well."
As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.' America,' the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded,' She's not from the States.'' Yes, I am.' said the wife. He looked at her and asked,' Is he your husband?'' Yes,' she replied. Turning to the husband, he offered....' I'll give you 100 camels for her.' The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied,' She's not for sale.' After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied,' I was trying to figure out how I'd get 100 camels back home.'
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of
water. It gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the
sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a
shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers that he has
a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appears that there may be a drop or two left in
the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out pops a genie. But, this is no
ordinary genie. This genie appears to be a Hassidic rabbi, complete with black
alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc.
"Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."
"I'm not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish
genie!"
"What do you have to lose? It looks like you're a goner anyway!" The Arab
thinks about more...
An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So, the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Sri Lankan was located who had a similar type of blood. The Sri Lankan >willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Sri Lankan as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Rolls Royce, diamonds, Lapiz Lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars. Few years later, once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Sri Lankan who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Sri Lankan a thank you (ahsante) card and a jar of Almond Roca Sweets. The Sri Lankan was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Sri Lankan's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him why he more...
An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers that he has a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appears that there may be a drop or two left
in the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. This genie appears to be a Hassidic rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc.
"Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."
"I'm not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!"
"What do you have to lose? It looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The Arab thinks about this for a minute, and more...
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"