Arabs Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do Arabs do on saturday night? They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.
It
is the year 2032, and a father and his son walk the
streets of lower Manhattan. Approaching the site where
the WTC used to be in the end of the 20th century, the
father sighs and comments, "to think that right
here used to be the Twin Towers..."
The son, not understanding, asks his father "What
are the Twin Towers?" The father smiles and looks
at the son, and explains, "The Twin Towers were
two huge buildings that used to be here until 2001,
when the Arabs destroyed them."
The son looks up to his father, and asks, "And
what are the Arabs?"
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across
the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing
along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The
commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run
up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of the
advancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general
stops the troops and waits to see what happens.
Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to
investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be
seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find
out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune,
too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entire
division to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune.
But just then, the first more...
Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat’s milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son, he’s a martyr." "This is my second son. He is a martyr also." After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully,
"They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."
And the Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shalt not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."
So he went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
And the Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are."
So He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
And the Mexicans wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."
He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? more...
THE FOLLOWING STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT USAGE OF OBSCENE LANGUAGE IN A SEXUAL
CONTEXT. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE BELOW THE ACCEPTABLE AGE OF 18 YEARS. THE
AUTHOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY VIOLATION OR IGNORANCE OF THIS WARNING.
There was once a journalist roaming the streets of Arabia, when he stumbled
upon this authentic Arabian market. Interested, as he were, he went inside,
talking to the natives there, and buying a variety of things, when he
suddenly had this feeling that he was getting late. He looked around, and
saw an arab sitting near a camel, with the camel standing in front of him.
The arab was seated on a mat.
The man, bending down, asked the arab,
"Excuse me sir, but what's the time now?"
The arab looked up at the man, took up his hands and placed them carefully
underneath the camels balls, and started rocking them to and fro. Within
minutes of this exotic pendulum motion of the camel's scrotal more...
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby where he met President Bush.
They shook hands, and as they walked the Iranian said, "George, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."
President Bush said, "Well, anything I can do to help you, I will."
The Iranian whispered "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there is Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, and Sulu who is Asian, but no Arabs. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Arabs on Star Trek."
President Bush laughed, leaned toward the Iranian ambassador, and whispered back, "It's because it takes place in the future."