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Element: Woman
Symbol: wo
Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118, but known to vary from 93 to 280
Discoverer: Adam
Occurrence: Copius quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower concentrations in suburban and rural areas. Known to occuur in small, highly concentrated deposits in Urban areas (see Shopping Mall).

Physical properties:
1. Surface usually covered with painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches, handle with care.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points.

Chemical properties:
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum, and and many of the precious stones.
2. May explode spontaneously if left alone.
3. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but displays a certain more...

How to Shower Like a Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. 11. Shave armpits and legs. 12. Turn off shower. 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. Dry more...

As you know, in many areas of the country this week, voters approved referendums banning Same Sex marriages. Of course, our nation is one of many sub-cultures. Different areas have different values....

For instance, this past tuesday in San Francisco, voters aproved a referendum banning Opposite Sex Marriages.

How to Shower Like a Woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. 11. Shave armpits and legs. 12. Turn off shower. 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 14. Get out of shower. Dry more...

Symbol: WO

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160 lbs.

Occurence: Surplus quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties:

1) Surface usually covered in a painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given proper treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly.
5) Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore.

Chemical Properties:

1) Possesses great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and other precious metals.
2) Able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances.
3) May explode spontaneously if left with a MALE.
4) Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Uses:

1) Highly ornamental especially in sports cars.
2) Most poweful money-reducing agent known to man.
3) more...