Arkansas Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen!
Q: What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?
A: The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.
Q: How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas hotel?
A: When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."
Q: How can you tell if a redneck is married?
A: There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
Q: Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32?
A: They want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
Q: What do they call "Hee Haw" in Arkansas?
A: A documentary.
Q: What do they call it in Kentucky?
A: "Life Styles of the Rich and more...
This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine.
Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"
It is not Lettermans - but hey I think I did a good job?
From the Home Office in Larchmont, NY the Top Ten Things Overheard in the Presidential Box During the College Basketball Finals:
"Oh, so you are saying that I should be rooting for the team in white?"
"Can we get some burgers and fries up here?"
"Sir, there are not enough people in this booth to do a wave"
"Actually, I have NO chance of re-election no matter who wins the game."
"I can't believe the shorts that these players are wearing; they should have stylish and practical shorts, like the ones that I jog in."
"I hope this doesn't go into overtime - I have Gennifer back in the White House - after all Hillary is away for a few days."
"IT just dawned on my, if Arkansas wins I have to bring all these hicks to the white house - GO DUKE!!!"
"No Sir I don't think Arkansas needs you to play defense for more...
ATTENTION: All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D. C. to visit Willy Jeff1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed. 2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks). 3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle. 4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon. 5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops. 6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or boarding house. If they don't more...
ATTENTION:
All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D.C. to visit Willy Jeff
1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed.
2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks).
3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle.
4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon.
5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops.
6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or more...
ATTENTION :All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D.C. to visit Willy Jeff1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed.2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes. When a few miles out of Arkansas, remove overalls and brogans and putt them into your box. Change to Sunday suit, clean shirt and good shoes (wear socks).3. Limit occupancy of your car or pickup to a reasonable number of riders. It looks country to overload a vehicle.4. Those going on their tractors should leave three weeks early. Remember to drive on the right side of the road at all times, except when passing an older tractor or a buddy in a wagon.5. En route always buy a full tank of gas. A dollar's worth at a time requires too many gas stops.6. On arrival in Washington, immediately get settled in a tourist or boarding house. If they don't feed, more...