Arkansas Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for? A: If you divorce your wife in Arkansas, is she still your cousin?
A special Arkansas edition of Windows XP has been developed.
It is distinguished by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS XP, and has a a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
Other differentiating features:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4- Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN ARKANSAS EDITION:
OK... ats aw-right
Cancel... stopdat
Reset... try er agin
Yes... yep
No... noop
Find... hunt fer it
Go to... over yonder
Back... back yonder
Help... hep me out here
Stop... kwitit
Start... crank er up
Settings... settins
Programs... stuff more...
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.It's illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas. Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw" Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot. Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.At Arkansas State University two people cannot hold hands while standing in a doorway unless they belong to a union. In Arkansas it is illegal to buy or sell blue lightbulbs.An Arkansas legislator not long ago proposed that the state provide growth hormones to dwarfs. Fayetteville: It is illegal to kill "any living creature". Little Rock: Dogs more...
After the birth of their 10th child, an Arkansas couple decided that enough was enough. The husband went to the doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want any more children, and what could the doctor do to help?. The doctor smiled, told him to go home, get a cherry bomb, put it in a can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to ten.
The man relayed this story to his wife, and shaking his head in doubt said, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a can next to my ear is going to help!"
His wife agreed, and they drove to Missouri together for a second opinion. Surprisingly enough, when they told the second doctor why they'd come, he asked them where they were from, and then told them to buy a cherry bomb, put it in a can, and for the husband to hold it next to his ear and count to ten.
Deciding that both doctors couldn't be wrong, the couple went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a can. The more...
Seen on an Arkansas Car Bumper
"Honk, if you haven't had sex with Bill Clinton"
Q: What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for?
A: If you divorce your wife in Arkansas, is she still your cousin?
Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because theyre sending their turkey to the White House!