Army Jokes / Recent Jokes
Who cares if a laser guided 500 lb bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!
You don't win a war by dying for your country; You win a war by making the other SOB die for his country. - General Patton
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's Suggested Military Cost-Cutting Measures
All major ground wars will be fought entirely by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg.
Combine Army and Navy into cost-effective super-force called the Narvmy.
Live out the new national advertising slogan: "Army of None." [TV spot will depict a driverless tank, meandering across battlefield, firing at random.]
In a compromise with bumper-sticker liberals, the nation's teachers will be forced to donate the proceeds of their bake-sales to the Army, which will then use the money to buy bombers.
Cadet's crisp five-finger salute to superior officers scaled down to three fingers and a look of sincere, filial respect.
After battles, soldiers collect used bullets for recycling.
Inter-Continental missiles no longer ballistic, just slightly peeved.
We sleep safely in our beds, because rough men stand ready in the night to inflict violence on those who would harm us. George Orwell
Our son is in the Army, stationed in Georgia. He invited my husband and I for a visit.After driving endlessly through unfamiliar streets in search of an entrance to Fort Stewart, my husband suddenly said, "We're getting closer.""How do you know?" I asked.He pointed to a sign that read:Sonny's Bar-B-Q
Tank Parking Available
IN IRAQ ONE NIGHT AMERICAN ARMY HAD REPORT THERE IS BUNCH OF FEDAYEAN HIDE TO AMBUSH THE ARMY, SARGENT SEND A GROUP TO CAPTURE THEM OR KILL THEM FOR GOOD. THEY WENT ON DARK AND WAIT TO SEE IF THERE IS ANY MOVEMENTS BUT NOTHING THEN THEY PLANED SOMETHING TO CACH THEM. THEY SOURANDED THE AREA AND ONE GUYS FROM WEST WITH LOUD SPEKER SAID HEY MOHAMAD, ABOUT TEN IRAQI NAMED MOHAMAD RAISE AND SAID YES THEN WITH SILENCE GUN AMERICAN SHOOT THEM, ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER ANOTHER GUYS FROM SOUTH CALL HEY ABDOLHOUSSIN THEN ANOTHER 20 GET UP AND SAID YES THEN ANOTHER SILENCE SHOOT AND ANOTHER GROUP DEAD FINALLY IRAQI SOLDER BECOME SMART AND THEY TRY TO DO THE SAME TRICK TO AMERICAN AND ONE BY ONE CALL HEY JOHN NO REPLY THEN THEY CALL AGAIN HEY ALBERT NO ONE REPLY AGAIN HEY GEORGE NOTHING HAPPEN. SO AFTER WHILE AMERICAN GO AGAIN AND SAID HOW WAS LOOKING FOR JOHN, ALBERT AND GEORGE?
THEN ALL IRAQI STAND AND SAID WE ARE AND BOOM ALL SHOOT TO DEAD WITH SILENCED GUN !!!