Army Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tracers work both ways.

Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.

A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his Father asked him what he thought of Army life.

'It's pretty good Pa. The food's not bad, the work's easy, but best of all, they let ya sleep real late in the morning.'

When in doubt empty the magazine.

During an Army war game a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.

"Sorry sir," said one of the loafers, "but we've been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn't contribute in any way."

The C. O. turned to his driver and said, "Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction."

Without the firing pin, the Grenade is not our friend.