Arrest Jokes / Recent Jokes

Some more terms for the TECHNO OFFICE DICTIONARY

Perot To quit unexpectedly, as in' My cellular phone just perot'ed.'

CLM (Career-Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

Treeware Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Dead Tree Edition The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms, as in:' The dead tree edition of the San Francisco Chronicle...'

Dilberted To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character.' I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.'

World Wide Wait The real meaning of WWW.

CGI Joe A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Dorito Syndrome Feelings of more...

A scientist was successful in cloning himself, and was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper.
"My fellow scientists," he began. But before he could utter another word, the clone jumped up and shouted, "he's a *&^^%*@)&!".
Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, "My fellow scientists,". Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, "this dumb *%@(&+*! couldn't produce a copy on a Xerox. He's a fraudulent *$3%$#*#+=!".
Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window.
The crowd gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New York's finest arrived and the events that had transpired were explained to them. The police chief said to the scientist, "We are going to have to arrest you."
The scientist replied, "For what? You can't arrest me for more...

Actor Randy Quaid and his wife were released from a West Texas jail late Thursday after their arrest for allegedly skipping out on a $10,000 California hotel bill. The Quaids were charged $1,000 for the room and $9,000 for two Pepsis from the minibar.

F A L L S T O W N S H I P, Pa.? It looks like police have cracked the "Gumball Bandit" case.

"We know who did it," said Detective Charles T. Burdick of the Middletown Township police.

A surveillance operation led to the arrest of Aaron Ozlek on Saturday, Dec. 14. He was initially held on parole violation charges, but police said he would soon be charged in the string of attacks on area candy machines.

Evidence "related to the bubblegum burglaries was recovered" in Ozlek's home, police said in a statement.

In the course of several weeks in November and December, 26 gumball and candy dispensers were hit. The thief sometimes took the entire machines and sometimes just the change inside

In one incident, the Gumball Bandit smashed a service station's plate-glass window, causing $1, 800 worth of damage, in order to get at the sweets machine.

The candy-craving criminal also hit machines in the more...