Arse Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the penis as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.

2. BEING NAKED: Very few female bodies are good to look it so please make an effort to cover up as much as possible with exotic lingerie. Match the outfit to suit your bod. If you've got a half-decent arse but no tits for example, wear stockings and suspenders and cover your meagre mammaries with something silky.

3. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it!

4. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be arsed to scream to show your appreciation, at least more...

One day these 3 friends went hunting in the forest. As they are walking along they are ambushed by a primative tribe. They were all taken back to the camp and one by one tied to three seperate trees.
Then the "big chief" comes out of his toupee and stares each guy in the face, he then turns to the tribe and says " Death or Bongo".
There is a fierce uproar and the tribe begins to chant " Bongo, Bongo, Bongo!"
The chief then turns to the men and asks the first one "Death or bongo?"
The first man replys " I dont like the sound of death so it will have to be bongo"
So 10 men come out of the tribe and begin to bugger him up the arse!!
The chief then turns to the second man and asks the same question.
he replys, slightly hesitant through "bongo"
so 30 men come and bugger him up the arse!!
The third man, who is now quite distressed decided that he would rather die than be subjected to this more...