Arthritis Jokes / Recent Jokes

I'll tell you, he said, "I've learned that arthritis is the cruellest disease." "Crueller than cancer?" his friend asked. "You bet," the first codger replied, "It makes every single one of your joints stiff, except the right one."

A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked' Say Father, what causes arthritis?' The priest replies' My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and comtempt for your fellow man'' Well I'll be darned' the drunk muttered, returning to his newspaper. The priest thinking about what he said, nudged the drunk and apologised.' I'm sorry to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'' I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

A man came hobbling into the doctor's waiting room, assisted by his wife. The poor bloke could hardly move. He was bent over and grimacing with pain as he shuffled along, his hands like two rigid claws.

The receptionist looked on sympathetically. "Oh dear," she said. "Arthritis with complications?"

"No," said the bloke's wife. "Do-it-yourself with concrete blocks."

A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The mans tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked Say Father, what causes arthritis? The priest replies My son, its caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and comtempt for your fellow man Well Ill be darned the drunk muttered, returning to his newspaper. The priest thinking about what he said, nudged the drunk and apologised. Im sorry to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis? I dont have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
- Rebecca, age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
- Billy, age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
- Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
- Chrissy - age 6
"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know more...