Artificial Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again.He drives them out to the woods, more...

Artificial Respiration
While leading a party of Girl Scouts through the woods in silent Indian fashion, the troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in an indecent act.
"Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!"
But it was too late. Several of the girls had more or less seen it all. They asked their leader what was happening.
"Well, if you must know, that man and woman were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration."
"Wow!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next."

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex.

"Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!"

But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing.

"Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!"

"WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. Several weeks later, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls the vet for advice.
The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. Not having the slightest idea what this means, but not wanting to appear ignorant, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet explains that rather than standing around, the pigs will lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up the phone and, after giving what the vet said some thought, he comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs.
So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
When he wakes up the next morning, he looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take and loads them more...

"Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade."

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He more...

What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence