Artist Jokes / Recent Jokes

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said, "I enjoyed time with my wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said, "I enjoyed time with my mistress, because of the passion and mystery I found there.

In a recent survey, participants were asked: "Who made women?"
They asked a artist, and he said: "It would have to be anm artist. Look at how all those beautiful curves fit together, and how well rounded it looks. It is both pleasing to eye and the soul."
Fair enough, they thought, and went on to the engineer. "It must most certainly be an engineer", this man responded, "for it responds with unerring accuracy. Press this, that happens, do this, and you get this response."
Mmm, this is an even better answer, they decided, but, to keep the survey unbiased, they asked Little Johnie.
"It could only have been the goddamn City Council", was his reply.
"Huh? Why the City Council?"
"Only those stupid morons would put a carnival right next to a sewage outlet."

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy."Really?! How do you know?" the teacher asked."You know -' Our Father, who does art in Heaven.. . "

Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life",
by Bill Clinton.

One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over three hours to read
Clinton: Over three hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinto n: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go more...

An artist asked the gallery owner if anyone had shown an interest in his paintings which were on display at the time.
"I have good news and bad news," replied the owner. "The good news is that a gentleman did inquire about your work and wanted to know whether it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him most definitely, he purchased all 18 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," exclaimed the artist. "What's the bad news?"
"He happened to be your doctor!"

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death."
"When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor..."

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death."
"When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed.
"What's the bad news?"
"The guy is your doctor..."