Portrait Jokes

A Pakistani officer broke into the house of a professor in East Pakistan, formerly Bangladesh, and saw three pictures on the wall: Kazi Nazrul Islam, Mr Jinnah and Gurudev Tagore. He assumed that Nazrul Islam's photograph was that of a Hindu so he shot it with his revolver. Then he sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Mr Jinnah. And who is this fellow with the long hair and beard?' demanded the officer.
'Sir, that is the father of Quaid-e-Azem Jinnah,' replied the quickwitted professor. The soldier sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Tagore.

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch.""But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said."I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"

Florida Governor Jeb Bush's official portrait shows him with a picture of his family and his BlackBerry.
Bush is sometimes referred to as the first "e-governor" due to his extensive use of the device.

The governor said that as a result of his direct contact with voters, Floridians are generally more hopeful and optimistic. He did concede that the optimism could be due to Florida's use of term limits.

State party officials are concerned about a breaking scandal. Despite the official portrait, the governor is rumored to have been seen using other hand-held devices.

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch."
"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said.
"I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"

SOHORTLY after her husband's death, the widow married her husband's brother. Hoping to avert small­town criticism of such a hasty marriage, she hung a huge portrait of her late husband in the living room.
One day a visitor asked about the fine-looking man in the portrait. Dabbing away a tear with a hankie, she answered, "That's my poor brother-in-law. He died recently."