Asian Jokes / Recent Jokes

A group of Asian women were visiting a village located in South Africa. They came across a booth selling human breast. One of the Asian lady asked the butcher, "Why are you selling women's breast?" The butcher replied, "In Ouagadougou, we have found that consuming women's breast can increase men's sex drive, and enlarge the size of their penis." Hearing about the "enlarging the penis" the Asian woman was determined to buy some for her husband. She quickly asks the butcher for the price of the breast. "Well," says the butcher, "It depends on what kind of breast you want. We have black breast, white breast, and Asian breast." "Give me the price of each!", said the Asian lady impatiently. "The black breasts are $200 a pound," the butcher says. "White breasts are $300 a pound, and the Asian breasts are $400 a pound." The Asian women were glad to hear that Asian breasts were the most expensive in the breast more...

A little old Asian lady goes to the doctor in China, and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't bother me too much... my farts never smell, and they're always quiet. But I've been doing it very often." The doctor asks her to explain more, and the old lady says, "In fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You probably didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and they're silent." The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week. "The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

A stereotypical black guy steps out of the shower in a college
locker room. An Asian guy checks out his penis and says, "How come
yours is so huge? I would love to have one like that."

The black guy laughs and says, "You can. Tie a heavy weight to it
for a couple of weeks. It'll stretch and get big and look just
like mine."

Two weeks later they meet again. The black guy asks, "Has it grown
any?"

The poor Asian guy responds, "It hasn't grown at all yet - but it
has gone black!"

The story goes that there was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady
got what she wanted. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought her husband to the store... (please scroll page down)What were you thinking? HellOOOooooooOOOooo, her husband speaks English!

Asian women have always been exotic. Two guys were arguing about the correct orientation of Japanese women's sex organs. One said that Japanese women have their going from side to side, while the other said it goes vertical, just like everybody else. The argument went on for hours until they decided to settle it once and for all by going to another friend who has a Japanese wife. Surely, he should know! After being told of the subject of the argument, the friend quickly said: "Vertical, just like everybody else", and I'll prove it! Although suspecting that the duo would just feast their eyes on his wife's pussy, he called his wife anyway and she appeared from the second floor bedroom. "Honey, take off your panties and slide down the banister" Like a good obedient wife, she obliged and mounted the banister. On the way down there was a long screeeeeech, and she landed on the floor. See? Didn't I tell you guys that its vertical, just like everybody else? The two more...

A black man's walking thru the jungle, hands scraping the ground, when all of a sudden he hears a distant sound.... ChangLingWang, WungChonLee "What da fuck was that?" he says to himself. Then he keeps on strolling through the jungle. A few seconds later, he hears it again! Only much louder... PoeMangFu, WongTonChi All of a sudden he comes across an open clearing, in the jungle, and he sees a beautiful pond about 50 ft. in front of him. And standing on the edge of the pond, he sees an Asian man. He then proceeds to walk towards this Asian and once upon him, he asks him whether he knows where that particular sound from the jungle is coming from.
"OOhhh, yes. You see, this is a magic pond that tell you your ANCESTORS names by skipping a rock on it. Watch and listen." With that, the Asian throws the rock, and as it skips, the mystical noise is heard once again... WooLangChing, HungWongLo The Asian then offers the black man a try, and hands him a rock. And with more...

Do you speak? As Asian Americans, we hear that a lot, don't we? I know I do! And it's a double edged sword too! Sometimes I get the feeling that we, as AA's, are suppose to maintain dual identities due only to our physical appearances. Here's what I mean: During our winter 1996 touring season, the 18 Mighty Mountain Warriors were fortunate enough to go to Hong Kong to perform at the Annual Fringe Festival. I thought: "Wow! This is great! We're going some place where WE are the majority!" (Although I must confess, the feeling wasn't too different from being in Chinatown). The trip was fun and rewarding, but one thing stood out for me: At the Hong Kong Fringe Club everyone, including Chinese, came up to us and automatically communicated in English. After a few minutes the local Hong Kong citizens would ask "Do you speak?" "Do I speak?". .. I was speaking to them right there, wasn't I? Did it matter that I was Chinese American and they were Chinese British more...