Assistant Jokes / Recent Jokes

Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life - not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle - just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now."
Assistant replies, "Sure, he is. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market... Now he won't dare cough!"

Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life - not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle - just standing there, frozen.The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now."Assistant replies, "Sure, he is. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market... Now he won't dare cough!"

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. more...

A YOUNGSTER rushed into a barber's shop and asked to be given a hair-cut and a shave immediately. "You wait your turn young man after the others waiting before you have been attended to. It will take an hour or two."
The young fellow simply ran out of the barber's shop. He came the next day, the day after and for many days following. Every time he was told to wait his turn, he fled. Not being able to contain his curiosity, the barber asked his assistant to follow the young man and find out where he came from and where he went after leaving his shop.
The assistant did so and reported back: "I don't know where the fellow comes from but as soon as you tell him you will be busy for the next hour or two, he runs to your home."

Ma Xin, a magistrate's assistant in the County of Changzhou, was a native of Shandong Province. One day, he went by boat to call on his superior. "Where have you moored your boat?" inquired his superior. "In the river, sir," came the reply. This infuriated his superior who snapped: "Straw sack!" At that Ma Xin hastily added: "The straw sacks are all in the boat, sir."

Two bosses were talking about how dumb their blond assistants are. The first boss says, "You think your assistant is dumb, watch this." And the man calls over the blond and says "Go to my house and see if I'm home." So the blond says "Yes sir! Right away sir!" and away she goes.
The second boss says "You call that dumb! Watch this!" So he calls over his blonde assistant and says "Here's a dime, go buy me a car." She replies "Yes sir! No problem!" and away the blond goes.
On their way to go do the tasks given to them, they meet up and start talking.
The first blond says "My boss is so stupid! He told me to go to his house and see if he's home. I mean, why couldn't he just call and see if he's home! OH! The nerve!"
The second blond says "You think that's dumb? My boss gave me a dime to go buy him a car! Honestly! He didn't even tell me what kind or color he wanted!"

Whats another name for an assistant stable cleaner? A co-pile-it!