Assumed Jokes / Recent Jokes

INTRODUCTION:

Hello, and welcome to the nerdity test. This test is designed to help you determine your nerdity quotient. In the past, someone may have watched you, or listened to something you said and then exclaimed, "You geek! What do you think you are doing?" Or maybe it`s just us. In any event, we here at the nerdity testing lab were prompted to ask "just what is a nerd?" In response, we came up with this test. By taking it, you will determine your current nerdity quotient (from 0% to 100%), with 100% roughly corresponding to a pile of sludge unable to communicate with anything human except through a device that is a miracle of modern medicine and engineering, and whose only connection to the outside world is through the computer internet system.

GRADING:

As this test is being distributed primarily in places of high concentrations of known nerds, and nerds in turn tend to have nerd friends, that someone who has never heard of or more...

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he writes in his notebook. "But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replies."Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," says the reporter."Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook. "I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy says. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks. "I'm a Cowboys fan," the child says. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Viciou Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again.
"Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy said.
"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets.
"What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Cowboys fan." the child said.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his more...

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy."Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Viciou Animal," he starts writing in his notebook."But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied."Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again."Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook."I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy said."I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets."What team do you root for?" the reporter asked."I'm a Cowboys fan." the child said.The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Bastard Kills more...

Come on, ya gotta believe! I mean, if you can handle flying furry animals,
then it's only a small step to the rest.

For example;
1) As admitted, it is possible that a flying reindeer can be found. I would
agree that it would be quite an unusual find, but they might exist.

2) You've relied on cascading assumptions. For example, you have assumed a
uniform distribution of children across homes. Toronto/Yorkville, or
Toronto/Cabbagetown, or other yuppie neighborhoods, have probably less than
the average (and don't forget the DINK and SINK homes (Double Income No Kids,
Single Income No Kids)), while the families with 748 starving children that
they keep showing on Vision TV while trying to pick my pocket would skew that
15% of homes down a few percent.

3) You've also assumed that each home that has kids would have at least one
good kid. What if anti-selection applies, and homes with good kids tend more...

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy." Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Viciou Animal," he starts writing in his notebook." But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied." Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again." Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook." I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy said." I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets." What team do you root for?" the reporter asked." I'm a Cowboys fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck more...

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, "Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!" Animals
Football Fan To The Rescue "Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. more...