Atlanta Jokes / Recent Jokes

Background: Bobby Cox is manager of the Atlanta Braves baseball team. They've won the National League title two in a row and have another good team this year. They've had some trouble scoring, so about a month ago they traded with the San Diego team for Fred McGriff who has won a couple of battling titles. It is a understatement to say that McGriff has improved Atlanta's offense. Atlanta is visiting San Francisco this week to play the Division leading Gaints.
Yesterday, a SF reporter teased Bobby Cox when asking him, "If a car containing your wife and Fred McGriff started toppling over a thousand foot clift, and you had the chance of saving just one of them, which would you choose?"
To which Cox is said to have answered: "My wife couldn't hit the side of a barn door!" :)

A fellow from Boston was in Atlanta GA visiting family. One day he decided to take a walk around the area where his relatives lived to enjoy their fine, comfortable Southern way of life - something he was not accustomed to in the northeast.
While he was walking he happened upon a pit bull attacking a small child. His instincts took over, and he ran to the child's aid by grabbing the dog, and choking it to death.
As the dead animal lay at his feet, a man came running over from the other side of the street. He announced that he was the star reporter for Atlanta newspaper, and he would make the rescuer famous: "ATLANTA MAN SAVES CHILD FROM GRUESOME DEATH," to headline on page 1.
The would-be savior explained that it was very nice, but he was from Boston, not Atlanta. The next day he read the headline: "YANKEE BASTARD KILLS FAMILY PET."

1. Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of Downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
2. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree..." and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House..."
3. Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Battle or Peachtree Corners.
4. Atlanta is the home of Coca Cola. That’s all we drink here, so don’t ask for any other soft drink... unless it’s made by Coca Cola.
5. Atlantan`s only know their way to work and their way home.
6. Gate One at the Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse.
7. It’s impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don’t feel lost.... they’re just more...

A man from Atlanta moved to New York.
As he wandered the streets he stopped at an antique shop and decided to go in. On looking around he noticed a very strange looking bronze cat which had a tag on it saying, "Bronze Cat $30.00, Story $150.00".
The man was very curious and asked the salesman to explain.
"Well" said the man, "its just like it says, $30 for the cat and $150 for its story".
"I'll just take the cat," said the man.
"Very well, but you will be back," said the salesman.
The man left the shop with the cat in his pocket.
As he walked down the street he heard a strange mewing sound. On turning around he noticed there were a couple of cats following him.
The further he walked the more cats seemed to follow him. As he got to the Brooklyn Bridge he turned to see thousands of cats behind him.
"Screw this!" he said to himself and threw the bronze cat into the river. All the cats jumped more...

A man from Atlanta moved to New York.As he wandered the streets he stopped at an antique shop and decided to go in. On looking around he noticed a very strange looking bronze cat which had a tag on it saying, "Bronze Cat $30.00, Story $150.00". The man was very curious and asked the salesman to explain. "Well" said the man, "its just like it says, $30 for the cat and $150 for its story". "I'll just take the cat," said the man. "Very well, but you will be back," said the salesman. The man left the shop with the cat in his pocket. As he walked down the street he heard a strange mewing sound. On turning around he noticed there were a couple of cats following him. The further he walked the more cats seemed to follow him. As he got to the Brooklyn Bridge he turned to see thousands of cats behind him. "Screw this!" he said to himself and threw the bronze cat into the river. All the cats jumped into the river too and were drowned. more...

A blonde bombshell walks into the airplane and sits in 1st Class and the stewardess asks her for her ticket...
The stewardess tells her that she only has a coach ticket. The blonde says, "I'm a cute looking blonde and I'm flying first class."
The stewardess replies that she only has a coach seat to Atlanta....
The blonde then retorts, "I'm a cute blonde and I'm flying first class".
Just then the captain happened by and asked what was happening....
The blonde tells him, "I'm a cute blonde and I'm flying first class...
The captain whispers in her ear...and the blonde gets up and jumps into a seat in the coach cabin...
The stewardess asks the captain what he said to get her to move so fast..
He replied, "I told her that 1st class is not going to Atlanta."

Officials at the Atlanta Zoo have announced the rare birth on Wednesday of a giant panda in captivity to parents Lun Lun and Yang Yang. Little Shiloh Nouvel Lun-Yang is reported to be doing fine.