Augusta Jokes / Recent Jokes
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER:
8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh in 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb-out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30 pounds.
13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
15:00 Nap.
16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer.
16:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage.
17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before mirror.
19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
22:00 Hot shower (alone).
22:30 Make love.
23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM:
6:00 Alarm.
6:15 more...
The Perfect Day - Her 8: 45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9: 00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9: 30 Light Breakfast 11: 00 Sunbathe 12: 30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1: 45 Shopping 2: 30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs 3: 00 Facial, massage, nap 7: 30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing 10: 00 Make love 11: 30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms The Perfect Day - Him 6: 45 Alarm. 7: 00 Shower and massage. 7: 30 Blowjob. 7: 45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section. 8: 15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys. 8: 30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9: 30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 11: 30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens. 12: 30 Blowjob. 12: 45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 2: 30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini. 3: 30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and more...
- Her 8: 45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9: 00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9: 30 Light Breakfast 11: 00 Sunbathe 12: 30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1: 45 Shopping 2: 30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs 3: 00 Facial, massage, nap 7: 30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing 10: 00 Make love 11: 30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms - Him 6: 45 Alarm. 7: 00 Shower and massage. 7: 30 Blowjob. 7: 45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section. 8: 15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys. 8: 30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9: 30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 11: 30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens. 12: 30 Blowjob. 12: 45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 2: 30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini. 3: 30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six more...
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER
8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrent lilac bath oil
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and cut
12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
4:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
5:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before the mirror
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
10:00 Hot shower (alone)
10:30 Make love
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
6:00 Alarm
6:15 more...